Watch Out .. Karen's About....

Some people are born with the grace and elegance of a swan …

I am not one of them...

I think I have to blame it on genetics as my Mum is the only other person I know who manages to wash up using themselves as part of the cleaning process. When I wash up I don’t know what I do but, like my mother, I can turn around and be covered in soapy water from the boobs downwards.. I could make a fortune on the internet …

I am also known for going to bathrooms and turning on the taps to wash my hands and ending up looking like I have been attached by a hosepipe. I also managed to fall down the stairs twice in flat shoes before the trek.

Is it any surprise then that I won the “ best fall award”?

Maybe I was still jet lagged? Maybe I was tired, fearful, walking with holes in my tracksuit bottoms where someone… probably me .. had speared them with a walking pole and I was now walking on them as they were ripped .. maybe this … nah ..Ok.. that bollocks.. it’s because I am clumsy

With a cry of “ ooh, it’s a bit slippy here” I managed to land on my arse and go round a corner in clay mud leaving my arse a very fetching shade of orange brown.. this was much to the amusement of everyone ..

Luckily I didn’t land too hard or my water bottle would have been wedged up my arse and that is a task I would not have given to the doctor…

I cemented my reputation as a woman of grace a little later on when on a totally flat, muddy area I turned to the ladies beside me and said “ Watch out here ladies it’s slippy”. With not a care in the world, or thinking of using my own walking pole, I took a stride and did what can only be described as a moment of pure comedy

My feet left the ground and for a moment in time I levitated above Mother Earth.. a vision in red headscarf and tatty tracksuit .. I was flying.

I landed with such a crash on the mud on the other arse cheek that I think I actually shifted the tectonic plates and I would like to offer my apologies to everyone if this has caused us to have less daylight in the working day ... I know there was an earthquake afterwards but I believe my arse played no part in this …

The first thing I saw was the look of shock on Harpic’s face followed by peels of laughter.. I think some must have come from me too as it was very funny. It’s nice to know that your friends will always come and help you once they have managed to straighten up and wipe the tears from their eyes.

To say that my bum was covered in mud is an under-statement.

A word from the wise.. Do not wear tracksuit bottoms when walking . Yes, they are comfy but if they get wet , or say covered in mud, they will be dragged down by the weight and make you look like you have a saggy arse… this may have been the case before the mud but believe me .. it’s not an attractive look… But at least no damage was done .. And I won a choccie bar!! More padding for the arse!!

Peter the guide laughed so hard when he saw me that he told me I have could have two beers.. one for each arse cheek…

And I had hours of walking left ….